All the @&%#$! on TV

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but theres a whole lot of @&%#$! on TV. And there’s even more @&%#$! on the internet.

And if you are just @&%#$!-ing tired of all this @&%#$!, this is what you ought to know.

You have two options: You can stop watching TV, or you can find a way to clean it up.

Technology offers you several solutions that can guarantee you a more wholesome media experience, each with it’s own pros and cons.

How the @&%#$! does that work?

First, there are machines that use downloadable filters that remove objectionable video and audio from movies. You’ll end up with a cleaner but somewhat shortened movie.

The upside is that it can eliminate some or all objectionable material based on the filter you use. It’s great because it can remove language, sensuality and violence.

The downside is you need to load a specific filter for each specific movie, and it doesn’t work on live TV.

Second, there are others that filter profanity based on closed captioning. Instead of playing objectionable audio, it puts up sub-titled text with the profanity replaced.

It has the advantage of filtering live TV as long as it has closed captioning, and doesn’t need any program-specific filters.

But it only removes offensive language, not any other types of material.

For those of you who find profanity adds to your entertainment…

Where the @&%#$! did my @&%#$! go?!

You could train a parrot to add sauciness to your daily media, you could invite over a sailor, construction worker, or maybe someone with turrets. Or if you’re like my neighbor you could add your own “live” soundtrack by @&%#$!-ing at the TV as you go.

So now you can add to or take away vulgarity and objectionable material from your media.

In the end, the only ones who will be upset about it are the Hollywood insiders asking, “What the @&%#$! happened to my movie?!”

You’re safe here. We never say @&%#$!.

Transcribed by: Caitlin Y.

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