Black Friday. It sounds like a pro-wrestling event and in some ways it is.
Black Friday…it sounds like a pro-wrestling event and in some ways it is. On Thursday we share our gratitude for bounty’s harvest by killing…purchasing, I mean, and consuming a large bird. On Friday we have the day off anyway so we shop.
What better way to show your thanks than rampant consumerism?
And the stores, knowing you have the day off, offer tremendous deals on all kinds of under stocked items that will vanish faster than Santa’s sleigh. It’s a game, you see. They lure us to come in and buy one thing but after getting punched in the face in the scuffle trying to get it, you leave with something else because you didn’t want to make the trip for nothing.
If I sound a little jaded it’s just my mind admitting defeat. I’m just not cut out for this gladiatorial shopping.
And did you know that car accidents increase by almost sixty percent on Black Friday? It’s just not safe out there. You see, it’s one of the biggest shopping days of the year in terms of shopper turn out and more people means more crowds which means less parking which means more driving and all that driving means less time and more hurrying to get the great deals which means more accidents and more accidents means more traffic which means more time in the car and less time shopping. It’s a vicious cycle.
As a general rule, I never shop on Black Friday. Probably because I’m afraid. And because I’m still in a food coma from my annual celebration of gluttony the day before.
But to be fair I have heard that some merchants sell certain products at a loss to get people to come out and buy, so maybe you can get killer deals on Black Friday. And if that’s your goal we’ve left you some helpful and some inscrutable tips below on how to go about it.
But if you want my advice, stay at home, buy the same stuff online, and have another turkey sandwich.
Turkey is wholesome and good and never requires an insurance deductible. Unless it’s bad turkey. Black turkey.
Transcribed by: Shannon McT.
Black Friday Shopping
Deals and Sales
Tricks to outsmart the competition
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10 Comments
Hilaree
We call it endurance shopping: fighting for that deal is fun if you see it as a game.LadyKatySue
The one time I was out on Black friday has scared me for life..... so I think I will just ...itwasabeautifullie
I work in retail. 'nuff said. :Poohshiny
Oops I mean write.oohshiny
It is called Black Friday because salespeople would right profits in black and losses in red.brhanley@gmail.com
I suggest going late on black Friday and grabbing rain checks. While you will not be able to get ...Allan
I'm not going to lie, I enjoy the huslte and bustle of Black Friday, especially when enjoyed with friends who ...pkw
I hate black friday. I am not a morning person, and I hate standing in line for more than ...Deelighted
I used to work in the local mall. Almost quit on the last Black Friday I worked. What happens to ...Meandering
I find really good deals this day, but I don't wake up in time to take advantage of them.