Bottled Water

[Takes a drink] Ah, bottled water. It’s clean, it’s pure, it’s fresh from the mountain springs of Onterio CA?!

You payed a buck 50 for it. Did you read the label? Not all water is bottled equally. It might surprise you to find that refreshing taste you’ve come to know and love is actually filters and added minerals.

Mmm… smells like magnesium. [Reading label] Hey, it is. It’s magnesium oxide. It kind of tasest like it too. [Reading] Sodium chloride, calcium citrate, sodium bicarbonate. [Wafting the aroma] Sodium bicarbonate.

I know we all hope that the water we’re drinking came from the purest mountain springs or frostiest glacier peeks – beautiful wilderness – but it’s more likely that it came out of a tap in the Los Angeles basin.

Bottled water can be classified in a bunch of different ways. Some of the more common ones include purified, spring, sterol, and artesian. That means it came from the tap, a spring, a distillery, or a well.

The word “Natural” is only allowed in water that originated in springs or wells where the mineral and trace elements haven’t been altered. If you want to drink from the same pool as Bambi, make sure the label includes the words spring or artesian and natural.

Some people are up in arms calling bottled water a scam. Especially after they found out that two of the largest brands – Pepsi’s Aquafina and Coke’s Dasani – are just tap water.

Well, it is an 11 billion dollar industry. [holding up a bottle] You’re a cleaver chappy. Shipping a lousy product is sometimes what it takes to make it in big business.

And if its just tap water, why not save some money and refill this little guy yourself. I might start a bottling company in my kitchen.

Premium drinking water. What’s the opposite of premium? [Laughs]

Share the show:

Copy this code onto your site or blog: