Hey, um I need to vent. Can I vent? Is that okay?
What I want to know
Hey, um, I need to vent.
Can I vent? Is that okay?
I am NOT…popular. You know, you start an internet show, and, it takes time to build…or not, because everybody else has more hits than we do and they haven’t been around as long.
94 shows now, and I don’t even think people know I’m alive.
But what I really don’t get is how some videos out there have hundreds of thousands…millions of views, and they’re not…any good. The other videos – they’re not interesting, they’re not informative, they’re not even funny. I mean, we’re funny. Just ask Greg…he’ll tell you…
[Greg:] “Yeah…you guys are kind of funny…for a couple of milk-toast white guys.”
Am I bitter? No. I’m a hater. You see, other on-line videos, they get views. What do I get? Nothing. Nada! Phut!
You see, Greg loves US…not too surprising – we pay him.
[Greg:] “Wh-Where’s my 20 bucks?”
We even drove 500 miles to make him subscribe…I just don’t have that kind of time for all of you.
What do I need to do get you people to watch this – tie you up?
[Greg:] “Mmmm, MmmmMmmmMmmmph”
Illegal? Immoral? Maybe…but I am this close to crossing the line. Okay, maybe I already have.
Now, it sounds like I’m ranting…but it’s not at you…because YOU are my favourite viewer.
This is really to all the people who aren’t watching, and I’ve got a secret for you – YouTube is inhabited by monkeys trained to push the same button over and over and over again on videos that some bed-wetting teenager thinks is funny, but really aren’t.
I know I’ve seemed angry – I can’t apologise – I’m not apologising for what I just said…
…I’m sorry.
What is the deal?! Is it because I’m not a woman…and hot?…Or is it because I don’t make dumb video responses?
I have an idea – here is a video response to EVERY video blog out there: “My videos are funnier, smarter, and better than yours…and my dad can beat up your dad…with his mind.” You know, if we put that last part in they’re gonna flame us.
Go ahead and flame me! And send an enraged email to all your friends – bring on the views – I’m ready.
Push the button, monkey….push it.
Of course, you won’t, because you’re not even watching now. What I want to know is, “How many of you actually watch this show?” Send me your love…I need it. Send it to “theshow@whatyououghttoknow.com”
Tell me who you are…why you watch…what your favourite episode is, and…why you haven’t tied up your friends so that will watch it…too.
[Greg:] “Mmm, Mmmmm!”
[Thinking] Gotta do, what you gotta do…if that means tying people up…well…
I guess what you really oughta know is that there’s a lot of really lame videos out there. Not here…out there.
Yeah, I feel a lot better – just getting that off my chest.
Ummm, I think this one’s just going to make people mad, though, so we should probably, ah, probably do the “Church of Scientology vs Anonymous Hackers”
Yeah, let’s just…let’s just throw that last one away…
Transcribed by: Ian
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37 Comments
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Have the monkeys found your channel yet?Colby
I, to am new to your podcast, but I love it! The first episode I watched was the one on ...tracytrig
I am a homeschooling mama that just recently found your show. We have used several already for jumping off points ...lizzy12
Your videos are insightful! I love them. And, your Mormon :Phaggisknower
I was going to use that website you talked about to contact you....... but it started to ask me stuff ...cshillam
I love this website.. I have only JUST joined the "whatyououghttoknow" party.. but it is brilliant congratulations.. you say all the ...gedebob
Hey, we think you guys rock and have become addicts in a short time. This is our favorite spare ...e.martin
I just found you guys this week. The first video I saw was the one about what people say ...Joe
Am I invited? I love parties with people that make funny, awesome shows that do belong on television; I would ...The Brothers Winn
Swip, the party just started!Swip
Sorry I'm late to the party. Like, 2.5 years late. (The party is still going on, right?) ...Catalina
Poor Brett, I hope you've gotten over the no viewer thing now, since this video was made over two years ...The Informant
I'm in the same boat as GameDroid. I found the site through StumbleUpon with the QWERTY video. A classic. Since ...GameDroid98
I love your videos!!! I first found your QWERTY show on f-tube, I mean YouTube, and then I was hooked. ...FeelFree
1. You Don't Pay Me. I Love Your Free Videos 4. Shorts Piss Me Off. Maybe Continuous Button Somewhere? 5. Your Smart ...KeithDenning
Just found your site. Not sure what you are lacking in promotion but you have a product that need to ...ItzMeRon
Awesome video.mjb3190
and that would be awesome if you did a show on anon! I'm curious as to what u think u ...mjb3190
i watched the IMS show. u mentioned the 22 group. that peaked my interest. i followed the link to this ...Nevin
I absolutely love this show, and Mark my words: I will buy some T-shirts! (I'm currently working PartTime at a ...Sakar
Good video response :)Abi Zara
I'm watching, You and the CNN are my two favorate podcasts...kd
hey i watch and that counts for something.Spitfire
I think most people just want to be smarter than their friends... Not me of course, I already am :)Allan
lol...HEEEYYY!!! OVER HEEEEERE!!! I'M WATCHIIIIIINGGG!!!!Aivri
white guys? You look like you have African American ancestry. Maybe you should grow boobs and make ninja songs.Johnny Chang
oh and... u can take the average person, that is not to smart and then u know that half the population ...Johnny Chang
u know what u can do. spam ur website over all the popular videos as advertisements. lol. and they will ...Dave IW
Like OMG fantastic; not laughed so much in such a short time period with all the vids; well, okay, there ...jayman90
At the date of this vid, I was not a watcher. I'm sorry!! I didn't know!! lolMeandering
I'm watching I swear! Don't tie me up with an electrical cord.andrea
WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO great show!weggles
You may not get 100000000 views on each videos, but I'm pretty sure everyone who does watch your videos loves ...Nospinplease
I found your videos from Glenn Beck and they are amazing! I want to see some liberal extremist try to ...pkw
Glenn Beck said that he didn't want to shoot straight to the top because that wasn't steady, wasn't sustainable. ...Deelighted
I "fell over" your videos and keep coming back. Apparently, the injury from the fall was worth it. I used ...Chase
Hey man, This is a reply to "Hey, um I need to vent. Can I vent? Is that okay?"I love ...