Hey, um I need to vent. Can I vent? Is that okay?
What I want to know
Hey, um, I need to vent.
Can I vent? Is that okay?
I am NOT…popular. You know, you start an internet show, and, it takes time to build…or not, because everybody else has more hits than we do and they haven’t been around as long.
94 shows now, and I don’t even think people know I’m alive.
But what I really don’t get is how some videos out there have hundreds of thousands…millions of views, and they’re not…any good. The other videos – they’re not interesting, they’re not informative, they’re not even funny. I mean, we’re funny. Just ask Greg…he’ll tell you…
[Greg:] “Yeah…you guys are kind of funny…for a couple of milk-toast white guys.”
Am I bitter? No. I’m a hater. You see, other on-line videos, they get views. What do I get? Nothing. Nada! Phut!
You see, Greg loves US…not too surprising – we pay him.
[Greg:] “Wh-Where’s my 20 bucks?”
We even drove 500 miles to make him subscribe…I just don’t have that kind of time for all of you.
What do I need to do get you people to watch this – tie you up?
[Greg:] “Mmmm, MmmmMmmmMmmmph”
Illegal? Immoral? Maybe…but I am this close to crossing the line. Okay, maybe I already have.
Now, it sounds like I’m ranting…but it’s not at you…because YOU are my favourite viewer.
This is really to all the people who aren’t watching, and I’ve got a secret for you – YouTube is inhabited by monkeys trained to push the same button over and over and over again on videos that some bed-wetting teenager thinks is funny, but really aren’t.
I know I’ve seemed angry – I can’t apologise – I’m not apologising for what I just said…
…I’m sorry.
What is the deal?! Is it because I’m not a woman…and hot?…Or is it because I don’t make dumb video responses?
I have an idea – here is a video response to EVERY video blog out there: “My videos are funnier, smarter, and better than yours…and my dad can beat up your dad…with his mind.” You know, if we put that last part in they’re gonna flame us.
Go ahead and flame me! And send an enraged email to all your friends – bring on the views – I’m ready.
Push the button, monkey….push it.
Of course, you won’t, because you’re not even watching now. What I want to know is, “How many of you actually watch this show?” Send me your love…I need it. Send it to “theshow@whatyououghttoknow.com”
Tell me who you are…why you watch…what your favourite episode is, and…why you haven’t tied up your friends so that will watch it…too.
[Greg:] “Mmm, Mmmmm!”
[Thinking] Gotta do, what you gotta do…if that means tying people up…well…
I guess what you really oughta know is that there’s a lot of really lame videos out there. Not here…out there.
Yeah, I feel a lot better – just getting that off my chest.
Ummm, I think this one’s just going to make people mad, though, so we should probably, ah, probably do the “Church of Scientology vs Anonymous Hackers”
Yeah, let’s just…let’s just throw that last one away…
Transcribed by: Ian
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29 Comments
Joe
Am I invited? I love parties with people that make funny, awesome shows that do belong on television; I would say keep up the good work, but I don't think you can make a bad show. =PThe Brothers Winn
Swip, the party just started!Swip
Sorry I'm late to the party. Like, 2.5 years late. (The party is still going on, right?) Keep it up though, the shows are great (any chance on getting a new one soon?).Catalina
Poor Brett, I hope you've gotten over the no viewer thing now, since this video was made over two years ago. I agree with the monkey concept, but I think that the monkeys are really people who watch videos on YouTube all day... I even know some of ... moreThe Informant
I'm in the same boat as GameDroid. I found the site through StumbleUpon with the QWERTY video. A classic. Since then, I've been following the show, or at least tried to. I began watching the show right after the Forced Break episode. D= I do hope you guys really pull ... moreGameDroid98
I love your videos!!! I first found your QWERTY show on f-tube, I mean YouTube, and then I was hooked. Me and my sister watch your shows for an hour! Since then I've watched every single show you've made twice, at least. Its really hard to find anything this funny, informative, and clean on the internet, and I have searched high and low. Please come back, how else will I prepare for the alien invasion or 2012? But remember, the greatest people in history were almost never truly recognized until a little after their time... That or they were labeled ... lots moreFeelFree
1. You Don't Pay Me. I Love Your Free Videos 4. Shorts Piss Me Off. Maybe Continuous Button Somewhere? 5. Your Smart Jokes Are Just That, FOR SMART PEOPLE. Sometimes I Just Laugh Because You Laugh, Honestly. Seriously No But I Do Have To Research The Topic When I Feel Your Biased. ... moreKeithDenning
Just found your site. Not sure what you are lacking in promotion but you have a product that need to get out. I have been watching all day and I may have a crush on you or maybe I just like you and camera guy for your mind. Let me ... moreItzMeRon
Awesome video.mjb3190
and that would be awesome if you did a show on anon! I'm curious as to what u think u know about us. i mean themmjb3190
i watched the IMS show. u mentioned the 22 group. that peaked my interest. i followed the link to this video. i have no idea why no one watches this show. its really, really good. I first saw the didgeridoo show from a link of facebook. i of course hit the share button and forced my friends to watched. I’m hooked myself, and working on getting others involved. There needs to be more intelligent comedy now a days… keep it up
Nevin
I absolutely love this show, and Mark my words: I will buy some T-shirts! (I'm currently working PartTime at a lousy gas station so it might take a while to get some money) BUT I WILL SUPPORT YOUR AWESOME-NESS!! And I've already gotten 3 other people to begin watching ;)Sakar
Good video response :)Abi Zara
I'm watching, You and the CNN are my two favorate podcasts...kd
hey i watch and that counts for something.Spitfire
I think most people just want to be smarter than their friends... Not me of course, I already am :)Allan
lol...HEEEYYY!!! OVER HEEEEERE!!! I'M WATCHIIIIIINGGG!!!!Aivri
white guys? You look like you have African American ancestry. Maybe you should grow boobs and make ninja songs.Johnny Chang
oh and... u can take the average person, that is not to smart and then u know that half the population is dumber than him. lol so they watch those stupid thingsJohnny Chang
u know what u can do. spam ur website over all the popular videos as advertisements. lol. and they will see it. or post it with tags that include everything. like stuff that are popular in the news. like celebrities.Dave IW
Like OMG fantastic; not laughed so much in such a short time period with all the vids; well, okay, there was one time at Alton Towers (UK) when a group of friends were in the sky ride dramatically emphesising to the passing condella that their cable was going to break and that they would all fall to their deaths........ I was laughing so hard because of their recations that it was difficult to breath and hurt like hell...why is that?! any who.... I digress....in fact I'm quite good at that.....so....not to put too much a finer point on it I've ... lots morejayman90
At the date of this vid, I was not a watcher. I'm sorry!! I didn't know!! lolMeandering
I'm watching I swear! Don't tie me up with an electrical cord.andrea
WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO great show!weggles
You may not get 100000000 views on each videos, but I'm pretty sure everyone who does watch your videos loves them. You just need to get more people to see your videos, but in a good way (no boobs at the middle of the vid, making video responses on popular ... moreNospinplease
I found your videos from Glenn Beck and they are amazing! I want to see some liberal extremist try to go against any of your videos with only facts. I like the show because it is very factual and funny at the same time! I brain you!pkw
Glenn Beck said that he didn't want to shoot straight to the top because that wasn't steady, wasn't sustainable. Instead, he preferred slow steady growth. That means you're building a solid foundation.Deelighted
I "fell over" your videos and keep coming back. Apparently, the injury from the fall was worth it. I used the subject of the one video I had enjoyed to find you again. Now, I'm addicted. Haven't tied anyone up. Sorry. I think you can go to jail for that. Kidnapping or something like that. So, just don't tie too many people up. I have told lots of people about you. Word of mouth does wonders. I think you have more viewers than you realize. I don't have a favorite show cause there's just too many I have enjoyed. Keep ... lots moreChase
Hey man, This is a reply to "Hey, um I need to vent. Can I vent? Is that okay?"I love your videos! I find them entertaining and informative. However, when I didn't seen one in a while and was looking for that particular one it was hard to find because I forgot your URL. I know right. It is a beautifuly simple address. I just found myself searching for everything but the exact combination of what you ought to know. I even found "you oughta know" by Alanis Morrisette. Maybe I'm not the only one who experiences this. This could ... lots more