Mexican Standoff

Five dollars.

Twelve dollars.

I will give you twelve dollars.

Okay, for you my friend, ten dollars. Ten dollars is low, low price. First deal of the day.

Sure it was the first deal of the day, it was four o’clock in the afternoon. I mean if this is really his first deal of the day this guy is going out of business.

Six dollars.

Oh amigo no, no, no, no. Ten dollars.

My friends where horrified. Who negotiates for a ten dollar pair of Mexican sunglasses?

I do.

The shop keeper just wouldn’t budge. Looks like I’m headed for another Mexican standoff. So I pulled out the big guns.

Yeah there’s another pair of glasses I was looking at back there, I’ll be back in a minute.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait amigo no, no, no. We’ll make a deal.

Eight dollars.

You say eight, nine dollars, give me a dollar for my taco.

Yeah, I got those glasses for eight bucks.

It’s practice you see. Down there in the open air markets of Mexico you can haggle for anything, and everything.

Where are los ba–os? I need los ba–os.
Los ba–os three dollars.

Three dollars? One dollar!

It’s true, most retailers don’t like it at all. Of course, neither do most shoppers. It makes them feel uncomfortable, and cheap.

But don’t run from the truth, you are cheap.

Just because it isn’t common in retail in the United States doesn’t mean it isn’t still widely in use. I mean the three most expensive things you’ll ever buy you haggle over: your house, your car, your wife.

Start small. Get some practice on small ticket items. That way, win or lose, you get more experience and it doesn’t cost you much.

Stay disattached. You need to pretend like you could go either way. I mean if they think you’re in love with what they’re selling, they’ll hold out and drive up the price.

Play off your freedom. You can buy something comparable somewhere else but they want you to buy it from them, not the other guy. You can even play dealers off each other, but that’ll only work for a little while. If it goes on too long, they may both write you off.

Start low but not lowball, because lowballing’s offensive. If I’d offered the guy 10 cents for his glasses he’s not going to believe that I’m serious about negotiating, and he won’t want to waste his time. You should at least have a good idea of what the item’s worth, so pick a reasonable but deep discount price and go from there.

Walk away. If you start to leave he might give you a better deal, but if he doesn’t stop you, the price just got fixed. So there’s some risk to that one.

For places where open haggling is taboo, like Nordstrom’s, you can always try the one-step method. It’s very subtle.

Ask a friendly assistant if this is they’re best price. If they go to their manager you can usually get 10-15% or more knocked off.

Which will make your department store items still just slightly overpriced from normal.

I’m not cheating the people of Mexico, I’m bolstering their economy. I only buy stuff I don’t really need.

The whole reason for going is haggling practice.

Man, these things aren’t even hecho a MŽxico. Probably made in China.

Yeah I know a Mexican standoff is where everybody is pointing a gun at everyone else, but I’ll bet you could get them to stop if you just started haggling.

I make you great deal, first deal of the day. 400 pesos for your revolver. 400 pesos to shot him okay? No me.

Transcribed by: Caitlin Y.

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