Things We Say Wrong

News, Media And Truth February 27th, 2008 Duck And Cover

You know the grammar in this country has really gone down hill.

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You know the grammar in this country has really gone down hill. Either the general population has just stopped caring or there is something wrong with the genetic pool.

E-ther, shouldn’t that be i-ther? How does it go? Two vowels go walking, the first one does the talking Yeah, so e-ther. But the dictionary says i-ther way works. So i-ther, e-ther. Then there’s I before E except after C, except as in “ay” as in neighbor or weigh. So protein is an exception to the exception to the exception. Because if not it should be pronounce prot-ay-n. And that’s not the only one either. Either. There’s more.

Coffee has a lot of caff-ay-n, He’s from a for-ay-gn country and I’m a human b-ay-ng. But at least that helps settle our e-ther – i-ther problem it should be ay-ther or it should be spelled I-E-T-H-E-R. This brings us to what you ought to know about the things we say wrong! I know your formative education was free and text messaging has destroyed any sense of correct spelling you may have gleaned but x-scape?

It doesn’t really matter, escape, x-scape I could care less. I think what you meant to say was I couldn’t care less. Oops my bad. Your bad? What are you talking about? There is no subject. Your toe, your IQ? What? No, I just talk different than you. Differently.

If you are going to hurry real quick and fix the way you talk you had better hurry really quickly instead because just talking faster can lead to trouble. Think about this. I say “I’munna go te liddliddlee (Little Italy) fer some stuff” Immuna? Te? Fer? It sounds okay in the sentence but if I pronounced two and four the same way when I count you’d think I ain’t had none edma… edumacation. One, te, three, fer.

I’ve got to admit, monster contractions and slurs like immuna and liddliddlee may be wrong but they’re fun to say. liddliddlee liddliddlee liddliddlee liddliddlee liddliddlee liddliddlee. Can’t say ‘em to close together. liddliddlee liddliddlee liddliddlee. You say it. You try. liddliddlee.

Why mash words together when you can hack them apart. We say things like: I want a whole nuther apple. Nuther is not a word. You just took another cut it in half and stuck a word in the middle. That idea works great for a lot but you see a lot is two separate words already. Wait, already isn’t two words. What else do we say wrong? Accrost, Apprishiashun, diassagreeance, restoral, supposebly, tooken and about a billion more.

Sometimes, saying words correctly is just too difficult. So we add the alternate pronunciation to the dictionary. Hey, it worked for spesheez q-pon and asso-shee-ate. I guess you can clean up the way you speak or you can just wait until your brand of bad becomes acceptable. You see it’s only a matter of time before nuclear and nucular both become correct.

So I says, give it enough time the English portion of the SAT will be easier than filling in you name. Because you name has to be right.

Well, that’s it. That’s whachawdano.

I hope this message hasn’t come across too harsh-ly for all of you.

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21 Comments

  • 6/28/12 @ 11:11

    The Perspicacious Loris

    You know, a lot of these things have to do with how languages evolve. In Italian, 'dream' is 'sogno' and in Spanish, it's 'sueño' (pronounced sonyo and swenyo). Both of these would be wrong in the other language, especially spelling-wise. But they are correct in their own places. So what if nucular becomes correct? It will be correct. Some of these things I really hate, like 'I could care ... (more)
  • 10/2/11 @ 1:10

    gmartinnc

    Actually, there is more to the couplet:
    “‘I’ before ‘E’, except after ‘C’, or when sounded like ‘A’ as in ‘neighbor’ and ‘weigh’. But Counterfeit, Weird, Either, Foreign, Seize, Neither, Leisure, Forfeit and Height are exceptions when spelled right.” Still no caffeine…

  • 6/12/11 @ 11:57

    The Perspicacious Loris

    Glacier!!

  • 1/27/11 @ 10:58

    gaylemadeira

    Oh god, you are so funny. Thank you. I would love to see one on the usage of “which” versus “that”

  • 1/5/11 @ 20:12

    CrackMallow

    You know what else is fun to say? Lemon MnM or feminine MnM. :D

  • 11/16/10 @ 6:52

    Jair

    I’d like to add that this video, even though it’s old, should be a example of irony. He misused badly a bunch of times for one. Ie, “Feel badly,” means your sense of touch is off. Say that sentence to grammarians and you will be mangled. (yes I know it’s a old video that I’m commenting on)

  • 10/18/10 @ 9:59

    kris10m

    Isn’t “downhill” one word? Ah, irony.

  • 10/14/10 @ 13:53

    CaliJames

    Could it be that the long "I" pronunciation of "either" or "neither" is due to Germanic origin or influence? A quick etymological review of the word reveals both an Old English and Old High German origin (O.E. - ægðer, contraction of æghwæðer AND O.H.G. eogiwedar or jeder). In German, the "ie" or "ei" combinations would be properly pronounced by? taking the long form of the second in the vowe ... (more)
  • 9/30/10 @ 22:39

    velhart

    Elise is correct. "I feel bad" is correct, and typically what most people mean to express in normal conversation. What does that say about the state of education in this country if our tongue-in-cheek videos about the unfortunate state of education in this country make the same mistakes that they make fun of! "I feel bad." (I am emotionally sad, or I am sick.) "I feel badly." (My sense of ... (more)
  • 9/21/10 @ 23:10

    elise

    I love this, except the part about bad vs. badly. That’s incorrect – “I feel bad” is grammatically okay, whereas “I feel badly” implies that your sense of touch isn’t working correctly. I will only feel badly if my nerve endings are dead. I feel bad that there is an error in this video.

  • 9/18/10 @ 17:16

    crispy

    This is so brilliant. This guy really understands linguistics.

  • 6/25/10 @ 21:56

    AredhelCarnesir

    I hate it when people use the words guesstimate and irregardless. I mean, think about it. Regardless means without regard, so IRregardless would mean not without regard, which is not the way people use it. They use it like regardless. And if you MEANT not without regard, why not just say with regard? I just don’t understand it.

  • 3/8/10 @ 10:41

    depplover316

    yeah… that’s how people talk in NJ a lot.. like slurring things together. Nut it works cuz this is ‘Mrica! (America)

  • 8/1/08 @ 8:11

    Meandering

    This is America, I can say whatever I want incorrectly, its what the founding fathers fought for, the freedom not to speak with a british accent!

  • 7/18/08 @ 8:56

    Allan

    Incredible. I never knew we were so incorrect in our speech practices. American has truly become its own English.

  • 7/17/08 @ 10:17

    steph

    ya i really dont like grammar as you can see. but i when it comes to writing a paper for school or a speech my grammar is near perfect or at least i hope it is.

  • 7/3/08 @ 23:05

    Curtis

    I have to admit I’ve been lulled to the split word ” a whole nother” too many times. It is now time to STOP that.

  • 6/26/08 @ 18:36

    Shikeishuu

    I often wonder if written language and records slows verbal language evolution. I feel inclined to believe they do.

  • 5/13/08 @ 4:52

    Deelighted

    I done did not know all of this. Thanks for the edjimication. Just kidding. Loved the show. Appreciate the fact that someone actually can pronounce some basic words besides me. This was a major topic in my family. My mother used to have fits when the news media mispronounced many of the words they said. Maybe you could do a show for the media? Help them out, guys. So they talk gooder. Ha Ha Ha!

  • 5/3/08 @ 6:43

    Kevin

    The thing I can’t stand is double negatives. They are running rampant. “I don’t want no soda”. Really means “I want soda”. They say one thing and mean another.

  • 4/19/08 @ 17:17

    Dominique

    liddlidaly:)

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