Port-A-Cheap Phone

The other day my brother gave his old cell phone to his two year old kid, you know, to help him grow that tumor early. And the little guy was punching in numbers and pressed send and an interesting message came up. [Cell Phone] “Welcome to American Roaming Network. Your phone is currently not registered in the area. You may now only make collect or credit card calls to the US, International and Toll-Free numbers.”

Now I’ve known for a long time that a cell phone can make 911 calls with or without a carrier, but I figured it was strictly as a public service or for safety or for liability reasons. So apparently the phone is still capable of making domestic, international and Toll-Free calls as long as they’re made collect or with a credit card.

In a pinch your old cell phone can act as a prepaid phone even if it doesn’t have a phone number or a carrier associated with it. Sure this phone doesn’t have a carrier, but it’s not homeless. It’s transitory. He’s on his way somewhere bigger and better…. with his cell phone friends.

But there is one catch, no incoming calls. Yeah yeah, no I gotta go, yeah. Call me back in five minutes. I didn’t really want to talk to her anyway. I’m gonna call it a bonus.

You can purchase any number of minutes you want and then use them whenever, but the price is usually pretty high. Buying ten minutes of talk time can cost you ten bucks… and that’s a dollar a minute. I will make you pay for making me pay.

But buying more minutes at one time usually gets you a price break like a hundred and twenty minutes for twenty five cents a minute. And when you compare that to the overage rates on most cell plans, it’s not too bad. Hey, the AT&T Go phone is twenty five cents a minute for pay as you go. This way you don’t have to buy a new phone.

In addition to the collect call and prepaid thing, all cell phones can make 911 calls for free. So if you’re in mortal danger you don’t have to cheap out and not make the call. Help me please. They’re after me. Wha, what do you mean two twenty five a minute?

So your old cell phone can be really handy. When you get a new one, take the old one on a car charger and stick it in your glove box or in your kids back pocket, so they can get a hold of you… in an emergency. Mom I forgot my homework can you bring it buy. No, an emergency. Mom, my friend is on fire. Mom, my friend just blew himself up. Mom, everyone is doing drugs and it’s kind of appealing. Emergency.

Another good idea might be to grab an old phone that uses a different carrier than yours, CMDA, EVDO, GSM, TMDA. That way if you’re in an emergency outside your coverage area you still have a chance of connecting to another network.
One more thing, we only tested it on an old Sprint phone so, you know, if you use a different plan or different carrier, it may not work for you. But the 911 thing should work for everyone and if it doesn’t write your congressman… or congresswoman, sorry.

Transcribed by: Brad B. & Ian

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