Capitalized Medicine

So I went to the pharmacy the other day (like a year and a half ago…you know…that counts…as the other day), and as I was checking out, I got this excruciating pain. It started in my eyes and went all the way down to my wallet. What? Seventy-eight dollars for forty pills? That’s like, two dollars a pill. How do you take that? With a glass of water.

An ideological war is raging over socialized medicine in the United States. Here’s the two second version: the leftover Commies want the government to take over healthcare and turn the hospital into the DMV, while the capitalist crooks want to bleed us dry using the same overpriced, broken system we already have. (It’s pretty simple when you put it in those totally radical terms like that.) People, businesses and politicians on both sides of the issue have valid points and strong feelings.

But while they’re busy grinding in the gridlock on Capitol Hill, a new form of healthcare has emerged. Wal-Mart, of all the unlikely places, has beat them all to real world healthcare reform. Affordable prescriptions are here, starting at four dollars each, with over three hundred of your favorite drugs to choose from! Are they really my favorite? Well, at four bucks a bottle, you bet they’re my favorite.

Now, Wal-Mart insists that the program isn’t selling drugs at a loss, and it’s not just designed to lure customers into their store to buy products either. Yeah, right. Of course they’re luring people into the store! It’s devious, it’s sneaky… and it works for me.

It’s also not new – Wal-Mart started the program in 2006. We called the Wal-Mart pharmacy to make sure it wasn’t just for seniors. And it isn’t. I mean, it is. I mean, you can use it too, ’cause it’s not just for them, it’s… capitalized medicine. For everyone. Four dollars, for everyone.

You can use your insurance, or you can just pay cash. Wal-Mart has a list of around 360 drugs that are approved for the program. Most of them are around four dollars, but there are a few that are marked for seven to nine. Nine dollars, ninety dollars. Eeehhh… It’s still worth it. Of course, not to be outdone, Target announced a similar service for discount medication. Everybody’s getting in on this action.

But it does raise some very interesting and disturbing questions, like, what will happen to healthcare if big box stores get a hold of it? Doctor’s check-ups at the supermarket checkout? Only three to a line. “I’m looking for some thoracic surgery? Oh, Aisle Seven, thanks.” Or maybe an ER next to the tire center. “That looks like a pretty serious break. You have your Costco card with you? Sure we can rotate the tires while you get the bone set!”

Our website has a link below to more information about the program and which drugs are included. And it won’t be long before you hear, “Welcome to Wal-Mart, how can I medicate you today?”

Transcribed by: Danielle G.

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