QWERTY

QWERTY. It sounds like a weird word like the name of a Muppet or um… uh… [Whispers] QWERTY. Could be one of those text words. A new kind of airport security? Definitely meant for children under 12. Anabolic steroids. Toilet brush bristles? No hold on that was wrong. Stuff that comes out when you floss? I have no idea.

It’s the first six keys in the top left corner of your keyboard, like if you began to read it. Qwertyuiopasdfghkjlzxcvbnm. Something like that. If it were a word it should mean outdated and purposefully designed with the intention of inefficiency. Have you ever wondered why when you get typing really fast your hands have to move all over the keyboard? QWERTY’s to blame. This finger was not designed to reach that far. You’re not a contortionist, you know. (Straining) Can’t reach it. I mean the keys under your fingers when they are at rest aren’t exactly the most common ones in the English language – or any other language for that matter. Asdf jkl; oh yeah. Real useful. Unless you’re writing computer code, I’m going to guess that you use semicolon (;) about as you use pipe (¦) or tilde (~), unless you’re being flirtatious online. [Growl]

The original keyboard layout on old typewriters was alphabetical. But some of those letters were too close and the typists got too fast so the hammers would catch each other. Like this. You know what I’m talking about. Okay you probably don’t, go get a typewriter then you’ll know what I’m talking about. When I was in high school there was a typewriting class with real typewriters in it. There was a lot of this going on. So Christopher Sholes developed a keyboard that would spread out those letters – no more jams. But that means the keys you type the most often, and the fastest, are further apart and that means you have to move your hands and your typing’s going to be slower. In addition to spreading out the letters, some people argue that the QWERTY keyboard was designed intentionally to be even slower to further reduce typewriter jams. I happen to believe that brand of conspiracy theory. It was a plot to slow down the hard working secretaries of our nation and keep them in subjugation to their evil bosses. Intentional or not spreading out the keys more means you have to move more which means you’re slower typing. Mission accomplished.

Why do we still use it today? The same reason we do a lot of dumb things, because we’ve always done them that way and it’s too hard to learn to do it a better way. And I mean think about it changing all those keyboards like, you have to pop all the keys off and put them back on. I just can’t get these keys out, it’s just too hard. Advocates of QWERTY say it’s inconvenient and inefficient to learn something different than what everyone else uses. But you don’t have to walk around with a keyboard under your arm. We use computers not typewriters and in a matter of seconds you can go in and change the keyboard configuration of a computer and then change it back again when you’re done. So are there any other options? Yes and my favourite is the Dvorak keyboard, I should hold it up. It looks like this – kind of the same, but very different. It’s designed to minimise your need to move to type the most common words. Aoeu htns are under your fingers so you can type a lot of words without ever moving your hands like “sheets” and “that” and “tote” and “snot” and “these” and “hot” – you get the idea. And you don’t need to go out and buy a special keyboard, just get a run-of-the-mill plug-in USB keyboard, pop out all the letters and pop them back in in the right order. As always we left you a link on our site to show you how to change this into this. But the nail in the coffin is this: The world speed record? Set on a Dvorak keyboard not a QWERTY.

Is QWERTY slower? Yes. But be warned: if you try a new configuration, you’re not going to be as efficient to start out with – It takes a little time to relearn. And if you learned on a QWERTY every so often it comes back to haunt you, and it will look something like this.

Transcribed by: David A.

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