Spotting

This show is all about answering the questions that keep you up at night, the really perplexing problems that fill your life with mystery. So how do those ice skaters spin around and ’round and ’round and ’round and ’round and not throw up all over the ice? [Gags] Every time I see a figure skating competition, I’m always secretly hoping that someone pops right in the middle of their gold medal performance. I don’t ever watch figure skating. Any more. [Chuckles] But it never seems to happen. All that spinning around looks worse than the Twirl and Hurl ride at the carnival. I will never set foot on that ride. But it doesn’t seem to phase the pros.

And it’s not just ice skaters. Ballerinas do the same thing all the time, and the guys that dance with ballerinas. What are they called? Balladors. Ballarones. Yeah, they don’t actually have a name, just really tight pants. Just like the ballerinas, the tight-pants guys – ’cause they’re definitely guys – they just keep going around and around, somehow immune to the nausea that loose-pants guys like me would experience. They’re not gonna toss their cookies, but I might, and all I’m doing is watching ‘em.

Is there some scientific secret to this madness, or do these people just have genetically-superior guts of iron? [Thumps] Impenetrable. I had a friend who claimed he never threw up because he could burp on command. I don’t know how that relates to this show, but it’s gross, and it has to do with throwing up. [Gags] Actually, there’s a common technique used by people who spin for a living, and it’s called spotting. It works like this: as your body turns, you keep your head in the same place, and at the last minute you whip it around to try and keep focused on the same thing you were staring at. You see, it’s simple. Now you try – a hundred times in a row, really fast, and don’t throw up.

It takes a lot of practice; if you turn your head too far, no good; if you turn it not far enough, you won’t be able to focus on the thing you were looking at. The trick is to keep your eye fixed on that same object, ’cause that’s the way to keep yourself from getting ridiculously dizzy. I’m getting dizzier. [Sighs] Whoa. [Laughs] The world revolves around me! The guy behind the camera says that after spinning around, if you’re really dizzy, you can jump up and down, and that takes the dizziness away. But what does he know? He’s just a camera guy, not a former professional dance instructor, international touring instructor with his own street dance team. He claims he never wore tights. [Scoffs] Right.

So now you know; if you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to spin repetitively endlessly, you can do it without falling over or turning into a barf machine. Just in case, you know, you ever need to do that. For some reason.

Transcribed by: Justin G.

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