Everybody is your cousin.
A while back, we talked about how your family tree looks like a diamond, but after today, it’ll probably make it feel more like a totem pole. I’m gonna let you in on a little secret: Everybody is your cousin. Everybody! Creepy? Eh, maybe. Let me explain. First off, it’s pretty much a mathematical certainty that you and I and the lady you cut off in traffic and the oily biker who just rode by…we’re all related.
All you have to do is go back far enough. Everybody knows you have siblings and parents and grandparents and great grandparents and great-great grandparents and even better great-great-great-great grandparents than that. My grandparents are great, better than yours. And of course you have uncles and aunts and cousins, but we mean first cousins. And when you really stretch it, your nearby family tree includes people like great uncles and great aunts and great nieces and great nephews…everybody in your family’s great! My family’s still better. But after that, it all gets kind of a little fuzzy, I mean, what do you call your aunt’s grandchildren? Great…aunt…children, grandauntkids! That sounds right. Now it gonna get uncomplicated. I don’t have to say that oily biker man is my grandpa’s son’s wife’s grandniece; I can just call him my second cousin, once removed. But really, I wish he were more like four times removed. All that slimy, oily, yeacch!
You see, everyone, EVERYONE, is your cousin! Here’s how it works: Your cousins are the ones who share your same grandparents, your second cousins share the same great grandparents, and your third cousins share the same great-great grandparents. And it just keeps working its way back up! But what about the whole ‘once removed’ stuff? Removed is for generational separations, up or down, it doesn’t matter. My first cousin has four kids. I’m her first cousin and her boys are all my first cousins, once removed. Now, when they grow up and have kids of their own, they’ll be my first cousins, twice removed, ’cause it’s the next generation.
If you don’t get it, don’t worry, I’m gonna do another one! My mom’s cousins (and she has a lot of them) have the same great grandparents that I do. That means they’re my second cousins, once removed because they’re a generation above me, and their kids, my mom’s cousins’ children, are my second cousins. And if those second cousins have kids, and I’m pretty sure that most of them do, then they’re kids are also my second cousins, once removed because up or down a generation, it’s the same thing, it’s just once removed. What, you didn’t get it? Okay, one more time, and this time, slooowwwer.
You determine whether you’re a first, second or third cousin based on what grandparents you share, and you determine how many times you’re removed based on what the generational difference is between you. You see, it’s easy! Now you know how to label all of your relations appropriately…or if you just want to invent your own titles, I guess you could do that too. Oh him? That’s my wife’s sister’s husband’s sister’s husband. Put this information with the human family reunion show we did, and you’ll realize that pretty much everyone on the planet is a relative, like you and I are 250th cousins, 180 times removed…or something like that.
Neighbors wake you up at night, it’s like a family reunion. Cop pulls you over and gives you a ticket? It’s a family reunion. Crazy guy stalking you…that’s a family reunion!
Transcribed by: Shannon*
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26 Comments
Minnasha
Now it finally makes sense! I always wondered about that cousin business.....Pandora
Oh dear. I'll have to remember that the next time I'm beating the stuffing out of a stalker.how is my baby related to my cousin? | baby sleeping tips
[...] There's an awesome explanation here: http://www.whatyououghttoknow.com/show/2… [...]xxEbonyxx
Crazy guy stalking you ... Thats a family reunion. Haha You do the Cutest Faces and say the most cutest ...sykomantis
Hey steele, we have the same last name, but we're probably not related since all steeles originate from the o'steele ...Steele
I think my brain just exploded....The Brothers Winn
@mike ike Maybe if he married his sister. They she would be your mother/aunt and you'd be your own cousin ...mike ike
So is my dad my first cousin once removed?Talor
You Meen that my neighbors from asia are my cousins. Thats sarcy. And it all started with adam and eve. ...Johnb300m
see ya at the reunion cuzzzz!Look Behind You
so im related to my girlfriend!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!Dandapani [22]
But, but, everyone is related to Kevin Bacon... LOL!thorondor
You mean we're cousins??? Should I be getting freaked out yet?FrootLoopColorSorter [22]
@ Jason Tate LOL :)xigging
very informative. I had always thought the once removed stuff had to do with someone who was married into the ...Meandering
I remember someone trying to explain this to me once before. I understood it, but couldn't explain it to ...Jason Tate
I'm my own grandpa!Soul Sister
This could make dating whole lot more awkward....Carolina
Hey! Now We're family! that's great! or better or whatever.... Bye cuz!!! See you at Thanksgiving and Christmas!!!postal
my family just had this discussion like last night....my mom was trying to explain it lolNospinplease
Hiya cuz! Can't wait to see you at the reunion! lol! LoADrorharush [22]
I feel all fuzzie inside knowing that you are all my family.steph
that means im related to al gore in some way! thats scarey... =[ but i never got the removed thing ...Curtis
Another great family show. Thanks cousin!kd
My dad does a lot of genealogy and found out that we are related some of the people at church! ...kd
Ha HA First one------JD