There are really two main Christmas New Years beverages.
There are really two main Christmas and New Year’s beverages: Eggnog, and wasSAIL. WasSAIL, wassail, whatever.
Wait, we’re doing drinking? I need a drinking buddy!
Whoa, we’re doing the non-alcoholic version of these drinks, cause hey, this is a family-friendly show, and it’s nice to remember what you did at the party. Do you remember what you did at the party?
Eggnog. It sounds suspicious. Is it really made from eggs? Is it really made from nogs? What is a nog? I don’t know, but my dictionary tells me it’s an archaic noun that means a small block or peg of wood.
To egg-wood!
He wasn’t satisfied with the dictionary, so I did a little digging and discovered that nog is also a Star Trek space alien, a psychedelic novel, and a type of cross-bred mouse that’s used in cancer testing.
To mice! With cancer!
I also found a website that gives the definitive history and origins of the mysterious eggnog. Of course, then I found a dozen other sites that have definitive histories, too. And they’re all different. I don’t think anybody knows what a nog is. So to settle the matter once and for all, here are the real origins of eggnog, as told to me by the Christmas troll.
Evil, naughty people in the Middle Ages used to head off into the woods and beat the shrubs with sticks and terrify the little nogs so they’d bounce away leaving their helpless eggs behind to be turned into some gluttonous holiday beverage. Sadly, all the nogs are now gone, so now we make eggnog from chicken babies instead!
To chicken babies!
Eggnog’s just one of the many weird, gross things people drink, but hey, it’s tradition.
To disgusting tradition!
But in keeping with our do-it-yourself holiday theme, you can make your own eggnog with eggs, milk, and nutmeg. Yes, the eggs are raw.
To salmonella!
We put a really basic recipe below on the website. It’s his family recipe. Except you can’t use real nogs anymore.
Wassail’s the other traditional holiday drink, a spiced, fruity concoction developed by people who hated eggnog. And like its evil cousin, wassail also has debated and contested origins. And since neither of us like eggnog, we’ll give you the recipe for wassail, too.
To not drinking eggnog!
You want some little buddy? You’re gonna have to headbang for it. He’ll do anything for wassail.
Transcribed by: Bennett U.
Eggnog
(the nog-free recipe)
2 eggs, beaten
2 tbs sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
2 1/2 cups milk
Mix contents together and heat in a double boiler until steaming, not boiling.
Wassail
1 tablespoon whole cloves
6 cinnamon sticks
3 tablespoons chopped ginger
2 cups white sugar
1 quart water
2 cups orange juice
2 cups lemon juice
2 quarts apple cider
Dissolve sugar in warm water. Add cinnamon, ginger and cloves and let stand for 2 or more hours. Strain out cinnamon, ginger and cloves. Add juice and cider. Heat and serve.
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24 Comments
aap
do you not like eggnog brett? (or jedd i cant remember)haggisknower
No one likes eggnog?! I LOVE eggnog! (store-bought though.) Btw, the stuff you use to soak bread to make french ...oohshiny
Eggnog has egg yolks in it, and yolks don't carry salmonella unless kept at warn temperatures( but who wants warm ...GameDroid98
To egg wood!musicfreak
Oh, and egg nog is disgusting. I prefer Wassail, though when we have it they add the alcohol right before ...musicfreak
Nog is actually pretty cool. Okay not really, but he's better than his relatives. Oh, I'm talking about the Star ...Christian [22]
Love the Nog all hail the nog marry the nog.... you get the point. and you have not called me backsteph {207}
Egg nog makes me want to gag. It smells horrible and tastes horrible. Maybe I'll tty that wassail stuff. Love ...Nospinplease
He will do anything for wassail! That is so halirious! I actually like eggnog... hehe.Mark F [22]
I loved the Christmas Troll's definition of "Nog". Hilarious!designertoxophilite[22] [22]
Well i'm from england and I know no-one thats had egg nog and we've only heard of it by watching ...WEGGLES
In Canada the packaging for everything is in French and English, and the French side of the Egg Nog carton ...Meandering {207}
I can only drink about 2 gulps of egg nog before it comes bubbling back up. I've never had ...Drecon [22]
Wait... no alcohol? I don't get it..Kel [22]
There's another delicious holiday drink! It's called Russian Tea, which makes sense because it's not a Russian drink and Russians ...Jennifer McKenzie
And I'm with Curtis. I think my holiday drink of choice will be "whiskey" this year. What? It's ...Jennifer McKenzie
I've never been a big fan of Egg Nog. That Wassail looks yummy.who said
While I do love the fat laden, extremely high caloric eggnog, and the sweet but sassy wassail for Christmas, my ...silverspirit
I'm from the Czech Republic... and I'm glad I don't have to drink any of that. :-) Great ...Curtis [22]
After this tiring holiday season, I might have to go with the "stiff drink" version. I actually like Eggnog, ...lukonkey
Sorry for double post, but I just looked it up and "nog" is an archaic word meaning "a stiff drink," ...lukonkey
Wassail, wassail all over the tune, Our toast it is white and our ale it is brune. Our wassailing bowl is of ...The Brothers Winn
Sorry Dandapani, we were a little slow on the draw. The recipes are up now.Dandapani [22]
Ooops. No recipe....