Mending A Broken Heart

mein herz brennt writes: “i just got dumped :( . one of my friends is trying to go out with my ex one day after she broke up with me. what do i do?”

Well broken hearted burning hearted German guy that is rough. But they say time heals all wounds. Which is true, except those crippling, debilitating deadly ones. And that’s the reason we waited a good long time before we did this show, to make sure that you were all better. ‘Cause nobody wants their social turmoil and heartache put out on display in front of millions of viewers, [Camera Guy: thousands] thousands of viewers. It’s embarrassing. But we are here for you four months later. And if you’re still crying on your pillow then maybe you really do need our help. Here is what you should have done … nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Realistically there isn’t much you can do about losing the girl or the backstabbing friend. She is gone and if she comes back its better if she does without begging on your part. Dignity intact, check. You may be able to talk her into it, but in the end it will probably just put you back in an uneven relationship and she’ll just likely breakup with you later anyway. Dignity is something you should probably try to hold onto at this point. Hmmm, pain now or even more pain later? I say bring on the pain.

The best way to get over her is to just move on. What? You still love her? She dumped you! All you can do now is make up some imaginary thing that she did to you that was really awful and then you can be really disgusted with her so you wouldn’t want her back if she begged you. Cuckoo!

Anyway, the point is move on. And the only way to do that is to start dating again. But in your damaged and fragile state, can you really take any more rejection? Probably not. You’re probably headed down the road to a serious psycho implosion. Cuckoo! And then you really will start making up things that she did to you in your imagination so that you can hate her. It’s a long dark road that you don’t want to go down.

Breent the truth is nobody likes rejection, but I’m about to give you the cure for that. I mean you could take the traditional approach and listen to “Eye of the tiger” to get psyched up before you call a girl for a date but it’s totally unnecessary. Because asking girls out is a win-win situation. That’s right even when you lose you win. And when you win you double win.

Think about it, if she says yes, you get to go out with a girl that you like. It’s a boost to your confidence and it’s likely going to be fun.
But what if she says no? Well, unless you have got money like Bill Gates or looks like Brad Pitt or charm like … Who’s charming again? Anyway somebody at some point somewhere is going to say no. Probably lots of them. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. Like that. You’re doomed.

No you’re not. Even if she says no there is probably a good reason, like you’re her ex-boyfriends best friend or something like that, and you wouldn’t have fun on that date anyway. So even though rejection may seem and actually be inevitable, but trying looking at it another way. If you took your car into the shop and the mechanic said “Hey buddy I’ve some bad news. Your repair is going to cost $40 less and be three or four hours shorter than we thought.” you’d be like woo hoo!

You see, you have every reason to be upbeat. She didn’t hurt you. She just saved you time and money. Thank you. So it doesn’t really matter. Whether it’s your long term girlfriend or the last one you struck up a conversation with, whether she says yes or no, you’re still the winner! Now go ask out her best friend.

I am going to assume that the “friend” you mentioned no longer has that title. Unless, of course, it was part of an elaborate plot to get her to fall in love with him, just so he could dump her and then say that was for my buddy Brennt. Yeah, that’ll teach her. Revenge dating! Cuckoo!

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